Saturday, January 22, 2011

free the clinics

Back again after nearly a year! I guess it takes that long to develop a good idea, or at least one to immortalize in the electrons of the innernets.

My setting has changed to the SECOND largest city in the US- or second largest television market at least- Los Angeles, California. I believe it may be the 4th largest city in Mexico too. Because it was taken from Mexican possession by force in a brief war, though when you really get down to it it wasn't theirs either. Which is why the fight over the 14th amendment seems really silly sometimes. All you have to do to become an American is be born here. But that is certainly not and easily achievable goal, even in a sanctuary city 3 hours from the border.

Being born over a third of the time now means being removed by scalpel through your mom's belly a la Caesar, I think there's a fancy Latin name for this delicate surgical procedure, or maybe Roman. anterior transverse lower uterine fetuectomy is think its called. some OBsurgeons gleam at the emergency Csection and tout their ability to remove the parasite in 30 seconds! Well, at my dream clinic named in recognition of this birthright amendment you can get your US Government reimbursed MediCal ATLUF, but really we will be pushing for more active maternal involvement in their pregnancy. That's right a birthing center dedicated to anoint citizenship- GASP, I can hear the babies dropping dead from the poor care already. Well aside from the free abortions we will be giving too. And men will get medical marijuana to do their part for contraception.

Really we are a quite robust species. A favorite reminder of this is the notion that we are all descendants of successful 1. breastfeeders and possibly 2.successful vaginal delivery. Hard to tell from the obese, disease ridden population we have become though.